Good Byes

As I decide to write this post, my heart pounds. I can feel every beat that makes as I think of what is about to happen. When I got the phone call from Kendi saying they were moving, I just laughed... What a random state to be moving to. Not once did I think I would struggle with their move. I have found myself multiple times trying to keep it together. Today being the hardest. As I sat in their sacrament meeting, I was not emotional and I thought it would be easy for me. As they called the new counselor to the bishopric to replace Chris, my heart sank! I sat there thinking I can keep it together. As the sacrament was passed I could not listen to 1 word that was said. I was trying to get myself together as I am not a crier, especially in public! Macie got up to speak first. She was sooo cute walking up there with a huge smile on her face. She finishes and my eyes are still dry, phew! Then Erin sings and the first key on the piano, my eyes get moist, then Erin starts to sing. I remember sitting there thinking oh great I'm going to lose it! I tried looking up, I tried blinking fast, it wasnt working, my eyes were filling up fast and then I look at my dad as he is pulling out a Kleenex, and a tear rolls down my face. I have to say good bye! I'm NOT ready for this! I finally put a piece of chocolate in my mouth to help me to keep it together. It worked. My heart aches! I see Marcus getting to know all the kids and it breaks my heart that he wont know them as well as I know those kids! During sacrament I thought of my favorite stories with all the kids. Zach- he was my FAVORITE. as soon as he could talk, he would walk around asking for Mae-Mae. I was his favorite and many times he wanted me over his mom and dad! I remember at my grandpa's funeral he was still young, and I had to change my nylons but Zach wanted nothing to do with anyone else, so he had to come with me. I remember being down stairs and telling Zach to look the other way as I quickly put on my nylons. As I watched Zach today Pass the sacrament, I saw the love he has for heavenly father and the respect he has for the sacrament. He had PERFECT posture and as he would walk, he revently tucked his left arm behind him and walked with such confidence. Blake- I remember I had brought some guy home one weekend and you came running out in your underwear laughing and talking in some weird voice. You sure do like to laugh and I will always remember that. Cody- I didnt like to hold you much when you were little, you spit up SOOOO much. but you are such a fun boy and Marcus looks up to you! I have many camping pictures and its always Cody and Marcus in them. Erin, Erin, Erin- I remember you coming up when I was single and you stayed at my apartment. you were probably 4 yrs old. You wanted to sleep next to me so you moved my roommated matress all by yourself next to mine. You have always brought joy to me when I see you! You are a beautiful little girl and I love you!!! Macie- you remind me of me! You are the youngest. Ever since you cut your own hair, I knew you were something original! You have spent so much time with Marcus and he will miss you! He loves you and looks upto you. As I think of this move, my heart does get comforted I can only imagin what the lord has in store for you in North Dakota. Kendi your family is going to be such a great example and as you have left your prints here in Casa Grande, You will leave Your prints their too! I love you guys and will miss you!!!!!